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SWINGING SIXTIES

GAVE AN UNEXPECTED
FREEDOM

Fifty-five years ago, a Gideon Bible made a significant mad. At first it was a shock because I had to adjust to
impact on Cynthia’s life. As a way of saying thank you, a complete loss of freedom, and it was strange being
she shares her story to encourage others. in a ward of people who were suffering a wide range
In the late 60s I was a Music Student at the Royal College of problems I had no idea about. Inevitably I found the
imposed, tight regime was very tough to accept but there
of Music; I went straight from boarding school into life
in London and I was excited to be studying in such a really wasn’t any escape, and in time it became strangely
bearable to the point I would even look forward to my
prestigious institution. At the time, Twiggy and Mary
Quant were the famous models whom we all aspired to 4.00pm cheese sandwiches!
follow and the swinging 60s were well underway making it I appreciated the conversations with the Doctor and
a time of unprecedented freedoms and new lifestyles (for psychiatric nurses some of whom were much the same
good or ill). age as me and I grew to be able to examine my life with
My weekly college timetable was somewhat thin as we a bit of detachment. But there was still great uncertainty
about what I was going to do in the future, and I had no
were expected to spend a lot of time practicing. As a
result, I became quite lonely and unhappy. Within a idea how to make sense of everything that had happened
to me.
short time of starting my wonderful piano & cello studies
I began to diet, and this led to a fear of food and the About eight weeks after arriving, I realised how bored
circumstances around it. I was in this tiny room with no books or activities to
This hidden life of anorexia continued throughout my distract me and so I looked around for something to do.
I turned to my bedside locker and opened a drawer, and
three years at the college and then through a year’s
scholarship in Geneva. My parents and family were there lay a Bible, the only book in the room. I took it out
and realised with a slight sense of shame that I had never
obviously very concerned, but nothing seemed to change
my eating habits, and I was resistant to their pleas to stop. really read it, even though I had been to a Christian School
and had been confirmed as a teenager. I thought I’d better
It was as if I was blind to the dangers I was putting myself ‘give it a go’ and decided to read the easiest selection,
into. I was constantly frightened of being trapped by well-
meaning others who wanted to make me eat. the Psalms. This I did without much reaction one way or
another until I reached Psalm 139 and then the light went
After another year at the age of 22, I came to a sudden on! In that very moment I grasped the amazing knowledge
full stop, literally unable to walk after an exotic holiday that God knew everything about me, He had made me,
around Turkey resulting in bruised and broken feet which and He loved me. I mattered to Him, and my life wasn’t a
wouldn’t heal. A dear doctor suggested I might like to waste of time or futile: ‘Such knowledge is too wonderful
see a friend of his, Professor Crisp, who might help me. I for me, too great for me to know’. It was an awakening
weakly agreed. unlike any other because this was God revealing Himself
Three weeks later I was ushered into his stark office where to me and it was not about me trying to work myself out.
he sat behind a plain desk, and I sat opposite him. He From that moment on things changed inwardly 100%,
looked at me in a straight, uncompromising way and I realised how blind I had been and what limits I had
asked if I wanted to live or die? imposed upon myself. God was literally opening my eyes,
I replied that I didn’t want to die but I didn’t know how to and my heart was beginning to sing. When I came to leave
live, and I didn’t know what to do. He told me he would three weeks later, although I was heading into a world that
had significantly changed outwardly, I was deeply assured
help me, but I had to follow everything he suggested and within that God was going with me into the future and He
that would mean going to hospital.
would be guiding my steps.
So, I entered St. George’s Hospital, near Wimbledon and I And throughout all my following adventures, that has
was put into a single room on a psychiatric ward and told never changed - Praise the Lord!
that under no circumstances was I to leave my bed. I was
given a strict regime of meals, everything was monitored, That one Bible hidden in a hospital drawer, opened a new
and I had nurses and doctors who would come and see pathway for me away from inner death to Life with the
me during the day. Lord. His Word brought healing and restored my life.
In one fell swoop my busy teaching and social life ceased, Cynthia sent her testimony to National Office. Perhaps
I was cut off from everything I had been actively involved you have a testimony to share with us? Please do let us
with, and all my friends dropped away thinking I’d gone know, our contact details are on page 2.

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