I was brought up in Winchester in a very Atheist family. In fact, there isn’t anyone, even in my wider family, who is a Christian. Growing up, my dad was quite hostile to religion. For example, often the 6 o’clock news would report a disaster and the BBC would interview witnesses. The witnesses sometimes referenced God or prayer and my dad would laugh at them, saying they were believing in nonsense. I therefore grew up thinking all religion was nonsense.
Despite the hostility to religion of any kind at home, my parents sent me to a Church of England primary school. At school I learnt about the rhythms of the Christian calendar, sang Christian hymns and learnt about simple Christian stories. I didn’t understand the gospel though. When the vicar would say “Father, Son and Holy Ghost” at the end of prayers, I thought he was talking about the sun not the son of God.
When I went to secondary school I became good friends with a Mormon. She was very open about her faith and talked about answers to prayer she had all the time. She was passionate about her faith and my hostility didn’t put her off. I told her believing in God was like believing in Santa Claus. However, she persevered and used to pass me notes in class with scripture on. As I got to know her, I became less hostile.
On the 28th of January 2008 the Gideons came to my school. Peter Keel took an assembly, and the Winchester branch handed out a New Testament and Psalms to every child. For the first time I owned my very own Bible! Some of the children at school didn’t show any respect for the New Testament. But, I knew it was a special book to my friend, so I kept it.
I was warming to the idea that the Bible might not all be nonsense. Not knowing any better, I just started reading at the beginning in Matthew. Because I didn’t want my dad to find out I was reading a Bible, I would hide in my wardrobe and listen for footsteps as I read. I found as I read the Bible, I was becoming a better person. I was changing from the inside. I could sense this was not like any other book I had read. These words had power. Pondering these things, I thought about how I had been taught we are merely atoms and matter. If that were true, you could put all the right parts of a human together and they would suddenly come to life. But we know that doesn’t happen. So, there must be a spark of life within us which isn’t made of matter. Which led me to ask, when we die and our matter decomposes, where does that spark go? I decided in that moment, I believed what the Bible said.
I told my Mormon friend at school and she was over the moon! She said that it was an answer to prayer and she invited me to her church youth group. I was so excited to go. I asked my mum (the softer parent) if I could go. But she was totally against it. My mum said the Mormons were a cult. I was devastated. She did agree, however, to come with me to an Easter service at the local Church of England church - because they were respectable!
I was hungry for anything to do with Christianity. While I was hiding in my wardrobe, I cut up Christmas cards with nativity scenes on and stuck them in my best notebook. I had no idea what worship was, but when I read scripture which spoke to my heart, I felt I needed to respond. So, I created art in response. I used the best craft materials I owned and spent hours delicately putting scripture artwork together. I wanted to honor God.
I found the “where to find help when” section of my New Testament very useful. I would chew over the various verses it recommended.
My dad soon learnt that I had chosen to be a Christian. Rather than laugh at me as I feared, he gave me an enormous heirloom family Bible. I was overjoyed at this gift because it had the Old Testament in. An upgrade from my little New Testament and Psalms! Again, I just started to read at the beginning in Genesis.
While at university, I was baptised and my parents came to the service. They still remain Atheists though. I regularly sing at church so that I have reasons to invite them to services.
After the Covid pandemic, I completed a year as a ministry trainee at All Saints, Crowborough. I now work as the church cleaner and will be continuing my theology studies in September with the Sussex Gospel Partnership.
